living in the moment

ive pondered and pondered.
reflected, thought and hummed and huhhhh over the many things that has been swirling in my head.

and i realised that i dont feel as compelled to blog about depressing things as i did before.
Maybe the root of the problem has been eliminated.
or rather, ive found consolation in myself that ive finally managed to bare my whole soul out.
like the color, transparent.

least i know if i die,
someone would know how i truely felt, feel and thought.

I feel like as if ive been reborn
reincarnated.
The feeling the caterpillar gets when it emerges out of its cocoon only to see wings replacing its numerous legs.
I dont know why I'm talking about caterpillars and butterflies,
think ive been watching too much national geographic. o.O

anyway,
few people can experience living in the moment.
where you are just live and experiences things that are happening at the moment for what they are worth.
its a miracle i can actually feel it.
my brain's always so preoccupied with other thoughts that i would be completely thankful if some scientist came up with a mute button to close up other thoughts.

as i was saying.
i like the way im living now.
i think its because ive found a suitable mode of living.
comfortable, peaceful, secure and enriching.

of course, there are a few things that i would like to do before university starts.
they are not arranged in any order, purely random, based on which comes to my brain first.

1: try and actually learn tennis.
2: Geemax with Melissa and CO.
3: complete the whole route of henderson waves and ones leading and connecting to it.
4: trek this park that amylia mentioned, cant remember the name
5: take out my damm braces, hopefully.
6: Go to SAF pub with bryan.
7: Get an even tan. (ALMOST DONE!)
8: Cook a few simple chinese dishes. (DONE! but in utter failure)
9: watch the sun rise at the beach, have a picnic while the sun sets.
10: Eat at hanabi restaurant again. (DONE!)
11: get that long awaited classic pedicure.
12: completely tear my room apart and piece it back together again.
13: 5-cent coin project.
14: at least start on my driving practical. (DONE!)
15: have dinner at jody's workplace fosters (DONE!)
16: buy melon midori liqour
17: Go to NUM.

This is all i have at the moment.
and knowing that ive so many things that i wanna do.
ive just told the principal that i want to limit my hours from 7am to 1pm.
if they really need me after that,
it would be looked at a day by day basis.

as much as i love these kids to bits.
Its not really ideal for me to be too attached.
and ive other beautiful commitments that i'll rather endearingly adhere and commit to. (:

Have a good day!