i cant explain myself at all

i sometimes dont make sense.
is that really true?

or is it a test to see if you would still accept my senseless nonsense.
i think it just that i dont make sense sometimes.

why do i keep holding on to things that probably bear no sense of importance to most people, grabbing it on with a tighthold, refusing to budge.

its that what keeps me sane?
my constant need to keep a sense of ridiculous composure.
and since when did failing become such a disgrace to you huh wenjia?
and isnt life part and parcel of growing up, its a journey of self-discovery.

have you become so completely socialized that you cant see the difference between suffocated to do what you have to do and having the complete freedom?
maybe you werent born to lead the standard life.
the life that most people in the modern cities are living in.
the need to live up to the status quo, being someone you are not.
the need to uphold, so that people can compliment you?

so long as ive done my personal best, i think that itself is complimentary,
i will not be motivated by external pressure.

and also,if you cant please all, so why do you keep doing it?
disappointment befalls on everyone,
minimizing some on your part doesnt really make the world a happier place.
and you need to accept it if someone doesnt like you.
life goes on, and it will open doors for you.

wenjia,
if you wanna love,
give it all that you have.
love vicariously,
love dangerously,

love with passion, without thought, without rationality