you know how self-doubt occurs?

the emergence of self-concept
i think ive been studying too much cs100
that the looking glass self concept has gotten to me
as much as i hate to admit.
we seek validation from others
we need us to enable us.
even if they do not enable, so long as they acknowledge and give you support,
that will suffice, for the moment.

if you see flickers of doubt flash across their faces
the glimpses of doubts starts to entrench you.
"was it me?" "what did i do?"

ive been asking myself this question everyday.
for each passing day that you do not contact me,
was that sentence so impacting that you can allow yourself to cease contact with me for so long?
or is pride stopping you?
pride is a subset of you.
never let yourself be a subset of pride.
and im disappointed.
how can that one sentence , which i said out of pure love.
the purest of love.

seriously, you of all people,
should know that,
when i love, i love passionately,
conscientiously.
im hard to reach,
but once i self-disclose to you,
you know that my heart stays open.

you are my best friend,
and you still are.
and i love you, too ferociously
that sometimes i feel the pierced pain of your plight.

Im an idealist when it comes to love.
thats why i support you when you fall in love with an unattainable man
because love sees past bureaucratic structures and legal black and white documents.
i see you plunged into some modern day tragic love story,
where the best friend plays the best supporting role she can ever be.
you think i dont want you to have happiness?

im supportive, non-judgemental and open to your thoughts and feelings.
and if you think you can find someone out there who is able to fill that spot.
i wish you the best of luck.
because im meant to be your best friend.
i dont need to compete for that spot.
you and i both know that.
<3