sigh

ive given you a shot for an awesome good relationship.
but maybe you did not play your cards rights
im sorry if i keep replaying the events that happened in the past in my head.
but the state that im in at this stage, its the things that youve done that made me insecure.
i dont think you really do read my blog anymore.
but i guess this makes it all the more an apt space for me to type my feelings down.

all these talks about possessing certain monumental things for our future.
i feel queasy thinking about it
because i have doubts about us

because (sadly, suffice to say that i have to admit)
that ive cried too many times (even after the situation has been blown over)

i wish i can easily look past certain things.
but sadly, my wounds take very long to heal.
and i may have moved past and carried on the relationship,
but the heart doesnt beat as passionately.

shit.

give me a reason to stay. a substantial one.