i feel like a displaced old woman

i hate the fact that im back home again.
my room has been taken over by my sister,
who has taken over my table and virtually any space available in the room.

i am no longer am accustomed to my own freaking bed.
i feel even more misplaced around my parents.
and reverting back to my freaking curfew aint such a pretty situation.

im miserable, sleep deprived and angsty.
and it doesnt help matters when im supposed to go on a job hunt and earn money.
oh because i need to earn money for the future and blah blah blah.

and it freaking sucks when someone tells you, you have put on weight.
its not like i wanted to be weighed down by social pressures to take notice of what i eat.
its freaking socialization, its sociology, you know.. my major.
so i jolly well know how influential that is.
and its like the tiny voice that is inside your head that wont stop telling you
and obsessing about your weight.

sooner or later you'll cave in..
and im upset because there has been a serious breach in my freedom.

and i dont think there's anyone who can make me feel better.
the prime of my life is restrained by my gender and my society's pressure on my family.

i feel so vile right now.
that all i can think off is a string of profanities.

life sucks big time at the moment.

supposed to go to the flea today.
but i had other issues to attend to.
im not complaining.
but im not rejoicing either.